Star Trek haiku: The Man Trap

Med denne fart vil jeg være færdig med at genfortælle Original Series, når vi engang selv regner med star dates – men det skal ikke forhindre projektet. Her er afsnit to i sæson 1, The Man Trap, hvori vi lærer, at Kirk ikke er den eneste kvindebedårer på Enterprise – og måske endda ikke engang det største mandesvin (man kunne også se det som et eksempel på, hvordan ledelsens opførsel afspejles hos mandskabet, og have lidt medlidenhed med yeoman Rand)

An empty planet
Doctor McCoy has a past
Her name is Nancy

The doc recommends
Staying out of his business
(but with kinder words)

Nancy looks the same
At least to Doctor McCoy
Redshirt get the hots

Kirk sees her as old
A defence mechanism
Is it his or hers?

The doctor’s secret
Is a dark and scary one
His nickname is “Plum”

They meet her husband
Robert may not be polite
But sticks to one face

The the redshirt dies
With a mottled face, like he
Kissed an octopus

Spock is in command
Uhura wants moonlight talk
“Vulcan has no moon!”

Redshirt Darnell’s death
There should be no flies on him
Instead, there’s no salt

Back on the planet
Kirk doesn’t like mysteries
Bob doesn’t like Kirk

Robert goes looking
“I’ve got salt! Smell it, Nancy!”
More crewmen are dead

Nancy changes face
Now “she” looks like a crewman
And beams to the ship

The new crewman Green
Has his eyes on yeoman Rand
Or at least her salt

Rand reminds us all
That sexist pigs still exist
Even the plants grab

Everyone is trans
Gertrude becomes Beauregard
Nancy becomes Green

Green changes again
The man of Uhura’s dreams
But there’s no consent

Still cruising for salt
Nancy is Nancy again
Wants to roofie Plum

They find the O.G.
Original Green is dead
“It” looks like McCoy

Searching Enterprise
For a shapeshifting creature
That needs love and salt

Nobody eats Spock
Spawned in another ocean
He is the wrong salt

Spock speaks with his fists
But she knows how to argue
And drops the facade

Phaser wins the day
She returns to her true form
“I am sorry, Bones.”

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