Ting tager tid. Jeg luftede ideen om at lave haikuer over Star Trek Original Series for godt et år siden. Og nu er turen så kommet til det allerførste afsnit, den originale pilot, der ikke blev til noget. Måske var det, fordi den var så optaget af slavepiger? Måske manglede den bare det røgsalt, der var William Shatner? Mulighederne er legio, men her er i al fald The Cage i haikuform:

Something not on screen
It’s definitely out there
At the speed of light

A distress signal
Old, from a class M planet
This calls for a drink

The captain is stressed
Considers another life
Maybe selling slaves!

Travelling through space
While making sexist remarks
It’s the Star Trek way

A party beams down
But something feels strangely off
There are no redshirts

They find survivors
But is is some sort of trap
Captain in a cage

Huge heads and head butts
Are signs of intelligence
Also arrogance

An experiment
Takes the captain from the zoo
to Rigel-7

This captain ain’t Kirk
In a cell with a woman
Only wants to talk

She wants to be Eve
And for Pike to be Adam
He ain’t having it

The rest of the crew
Want to attack in full force
Spock respects big brains

The aliens are
Addicted to emotions
they want more and more

The want desires
And what is sexier than
Glistening green skin?

The party of two
Should become a sex party
The women beam down

See-through illusions
A phaser solves the problem
(Nirvana shortcut?)

The Talosians
Will let the humans escape
But Vina can’t go

She’s part illusion
They rebuilt a lump of flesh
But “everything works”

Return to the bridge
With the sexual tension
Set course for the stars